Sep 16 2004 the art of ...
blog : venting
the art of ...
Info
the art of turning an apology into an insult.

that is my art.

"I'm very sorry, that you are an idiot"
comments

1 | 2
09/16/04 Format32 | Oregon USA
Thanks.
+
 

09/16/04 online mlbot | Oregon USA
I'm sorry for pleasuring your wife.
+
 

09/16/04 online DX | Maryland USA
I forgive you.
+
 

09/16/04 online lowlifi | California USA
you need to turn word wrap on PH000!!
+
 

09/16/04 online jdg | Washington USA
Word RAP

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

now what you hear is not a test--i'm rappin to the beat
and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
see i am wonder mike and i like to say hello
to the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
but first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie
say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie
let's rock, you dont stop
rock the riddle that will make your body rock
well so far youve heard my voice but i brought two friends along
and next on the mike is my man hank
come on, hank, sing that song

check it out, i'm the c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a
and the rest is f-l-y
ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the mix
and these reasons i'll tell ya why
ya see i'm six foot one and i'm tons of fun
and i dress to a t
ya see i got more clothes than muhammad ali and i dress so viciously
i got bodyguards, i got two big cars
that definitely aint the wack
i got a lincoln continental and a sunroof cadillac
so after school, i take a dip in the pool
which really is on the wall
i got a color tv so i can see
the knicks play basketball
hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards
more money than a sucker could ever spend
but i wouldnt give a sucker or a bum from the rucker
not a dime til i made it again
ya go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today (say what)
ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spankin
drive off in a def oj
everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn
say if your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend
master gee, am I mellow
its on you so what you gonna do

well it's on n on n on on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
i said m-a-s, t-e-r, a g with a double e
i said i go by the unforgettable name
of the man they call the master gee
well, my name is known all over the world
by all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls
i'm goin down in history
as the baddest rapper there could ever be
now i'm feelin the highs and ya feelin the lows
the beat starts gettin into your toes
ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
and movin your body while youre sittin in your seat
and the damn ya start doin the freak
i said damn, right outta your seat
then ya throw your hands high in the air
ya rockin to the rhythm, shake your derriere
ya rockin to the beat without a care
with the sureshot m.c.s for the affair
now, im not as tall as the rest of the gang
but i rap to the beat just the same
i dot a little face and a pair of brown eyes
all im here to do ladies is hypnotize
singin on n n on n on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
singin on n n on n on on n on
like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie
pop da pop pop ya dont dare stop
come alive yall gimme what ya got
i guess by now you can take a hunch
and find that i am the baby of the bunch
'but that's okay i still keep in stride
cause all i'm here to do is just wiggle your behind
singin on n n on n on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
singin on n n on n on on n on
rock rock yall throw it on the floor
im gonna freak ya here im gonna feak ya there
im gonna move you outta this atmosphere
cause im one of a kind and ill shock your mind
ill put t-t-tickets in your behind
i said 1-2-3-4, come on girls get on the floor
a-come alive, yall a-gimme what ya got
cause im guaranteed to make you rock
i said 1-2-3-4 tell me wonder mike what are you waitin for?

i said a hip hop the hippie to the hippie
the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
skiddlee beebop a we rock a scoobie doo
and guess what america we love you
cause ya rock and ya roll with so much soul
you could rock till you're a hundred and one years old
i dont mean to brag i dont mean to boast
but we like hot butter on our breakfast toast
rock it up baby bubbah
baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang da boogie
to the beat beat, its so unique
come on everybody and dance to the beat

[funk]

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
rock it out baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang
the boogie to the boogie da beat

i said i cant wait til the end of the week
when im rappin to the rhythm of a groovy beat
and attempt to raise your body heat
just blow your mind so that you cant speak
and do a thing but a rock and shuffle your feet
and let it change up to a dance called the freak
and when ya finally do come in to your rhythmic beat
rest a little while so ya dont get weak
i know a man named hank
he has more rhymes than a serious bank
so come on hank sing that song
to the rhythm of the boogie da bang bang da bong

well, im imp the dimp the ladies pimp
the women fight for my delight
but im the grandmaster with the three mcs
that shock the house for the young ladies
and when you come inside, into the front
you do the freak, spank, and do the bump
and when the sucker mcs try to prove a point

we're treacherous trio, we're the serious joint
a from sun to sun and from day to day
i sit down and write a brand new rhyme
because they say that miracles never cease
i've created a devastating masterpiece
i'm gonna rock the mike til you cant resist
everybody, i say it goes like this
well i was comin home late one dark afternoon
a reporter stopped me for a interview
she said she's heard stories and she's heard fables
that i'm vicious on the mike and the turntables
this young reporter i did adore
so i rocked a vicious rhyme like i never did before
she said damn fly guy im in love with you
the casanova legend must have been true
i said by the way baby what's your name
said i go by the name of lois lane
and you could be my boyfiend you surely can
just let me quit my boyfriend called superman
i said he's a fairy i do suppoose
flyin through the air in pantyhose
he may be very sexy or even cute
but he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
i said you need a man who's got finesse
and his whole name across his chest
he may be able to fly all through the night
but can he rock a party til the early light
he cant satisfy you with his little worm
but i can bust you out with my super sperm
i go do it, i go do it, i go do it, do it , do it
an i'm here an i'm there i'm big bang hank, im everywhere
just throw your hands up in the air
and party hardy like you just dont care
let's do it dont stop yall a tick a tock yall you dont stop
go hotel motel what you gonna do today(say what)
im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spank drive off in a def oj
everybody go hotel motel holiday inn
you say if your girl starts actin up then you take her friend
i say skip, dive, what can i say
i cant fit em all inside my oj
so i just take half and bust them out
i give the rest to master gee so he could shock the house

it was twelve o'clock one friday night
i was rockin to the beat and feelin all right
everybody was dancin on the floor
doin all the things they never did before
and then this fly fly girl with a sexy lean
she came into the bar, she came into the scene
as she traveled deeper inside the room
all the fellas checked out her white sasoons
she came up to the table, looked into my eyes
then she turned around and shook her behind
so i said to myself, its time for me to release
my vicious rhyme i call my masterpiece
and now people in the house this is just for you
a little rap to make you boogaloo
now the group ya hear is called phase two
and let me tell ya somethin we're a helluva crew
once a week we're on the street
just a-cuttin' the jams and making it free
for you to party ya got to have the movies
so we'll get right down and give you the groove
for you to dance you gotta get hype
so we'll get right down for you tonight
now the system's on and the girls are there
ya definitely have a rockin affair
but let me tell ya somethin there's still one fact
that to have a party ya got to have a rap
so when the party's over you're makin it home
and tryin to sleep before the break of dawn
and while ya sleepin ya start to dream
and thinkin how ya danced on the disco scene
my name appears in your mind
yeah, a name you know that was right on time
it was phase two just a doin a do
rockin ya down cause ya know we could
to the rhythm of the beat that makes ya freak
come alive girls get on your feet
to the rhythm of the beat to the beat the beat
to the double beat beat that it makes ya freak
to the rhythm of the beat that says ya go on
on n on into the break of dawn
now i got a man comin on right now
he's guaranteed to throw down
he goes by the name of wonder mike
come on wonder mike do what ya like

like a can of beer that's sweeter than honey
like a millionaire that has no money
like a rainy day that is not wet
like a gamblin fiend that does not bet
like dracula with out his fangs
like the boogie to the boogie without the boogie bang
like collard greens that dont taste good
like a tree that's not made out of wood
like goin up and not comin down
is just like the beat without the sound no sound
to the beat beat, ya do the freak
everybody just rock and dance to the beat
have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just aint no good
i mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin that youre full
and then your friend says momma he's just being polite
he aint finished uh uh that's bull
so your heart starts pumpin and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate
and your friend says man there's plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate
while the stinky foods steamin your mind starts to dreamin
of the moment that it's time to leave
and then you look at your plate and your chickens slowly rottin
into something that looks like cheese
oh so you say that's it i got to leave this place
i dont care what these people think
im just sittin here makin myself nauseous
with this ugly food that stinks
so you bust out the door while its still closed
still sick from the food you ate
and then you run to the store for quick relief
from a bottle of kaopectate
and then you call your friend two weeks later
to see how he has been
and he says i understand about the food
baby bubbah but we're still friends
with a hip hop the hippie to the hippie
the hip hip a hop a you dont stop the rockin
to the bang bang boogie
say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat
i say hank can ya rock
can ya rock to the rhythm that just dont stop
can ya hip me to the shoobie doo
i said come on make the make the people move

i go to the halls and then ring the bell
because i am the man with the clientele
and if ya ask me why i rock so well
a big bang, i got clientele
and from the time i was only six years old
i never forgot what i was told
it was the best advice that i ever had
it came from my wise dear old dad
he said sit down punk i wanna talk to you
and dont say a word until i'm through
now there's a time to laugh a time to cry
a time to live and a time to die
a time to break and a time to chill
to act civilized or act real ill
but whatever ya do in your lifetime
ya never let a mc steal your rhyme
so from sixty six til this very day
ill always remember what he had to say
so when the sucker mcs try to chump my style
i let them know that i'm versatile
i got style finesse and a little black book
that's filled with rhymes and i know you wanna look
but there's a thing that separates you from me
and that's called originality
because my rhymes are on from what you heard
i didnt even bite and not a god d--m word
and i say a little more later on tonight
so the sucker mc's can bite all night
a tick a tock yall a beat beat yall
a lets rock yall ya dont stop
ya go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today (say what)
ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spankin
drive off in a def oj
everybody go hotel motel holiday inn
ya say if your girl starts actin up then you take her friends
a like that yall to the beat yall
beat beat yall ya dont stop
a master gee am I mellow?
its on you so whatcha gonna do

well like johnny carson on the late show
a like frankie croker in stereo
well like the barkay's singin holy ghost
the sounds to throw down they're played the most

its like my man captain sky
whose name he earned with his super sperm
we rock and we dont stop
get off yall im here to give you whatcha got
to the beat that it makes you freak
and come alive girl get on your feet
a like a perry mason without a case
like farrah fawcett without her face

like the barkays on the mike
like gettin right down for you tonight
like movin your body so ya dont know how
right to the rhythm and throw down

like comin alive to the master gee
the brother who rocks so viciously
i said the age of one my life begun
at the age of two i was doin the do
at the age of three it was you and me
rockin to the sounds of the master gee
at the age of four i was on the floor
givin all the freaks what they bargained for
at the age of five i didnt take no jive
with the master gee its all the way live
at the age of six i was a pickin up sticks
rappin to the beat my stick was fixed
at the age of seven i was rockin in heaven dontcha know i went off
i got right on down to the beat you see
gettin right on down makin all the girls
just take of their clothes to the beat the beat
to the double beat beat that makes you freak
at the age of eight i was really great
cause every night you see i had a date
at the age of nine i was right on time
cause every night i had a party rhyme
goin on n n on n on on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
a sayin on n n on n on on n on...
like a hot buttered de pop de pop de pop
a saying on n n on n on on n on
cause i'm a helluva man when i'm on the mike
i am the definate feast delight
cause i'm a helluva man when i'm on the mike
i am the definate feast delight
come to the master gee you see
the brother who rocks so viciously
+
 

09/16/04 online lowlifi | California USA
jesus, i never liked that song...wayyyyyyy tooo long..
+
 

09/16/04 online mlbot | Oregon USA
I'm sorry that you ruin your own blog
+
 

09/16/04 online jdg | Washington USA
i regret to inform you that i farted in your soup.
+
 

09/16/04 online mlbot | Oregon USA
I'm sorry, but those aren't actually meatballs in your soup.
+
 

09/16/04 broking | Texas USA
you forget that Schwarzenegger just signed a bill banning that act. Apparently he had Wesley Snipes over for dinner one night.
+
 

09/16/04 online mlbot | Oregon USA
jdg, i'm sorry your blogs awlays wind up being about necrophilia.
I' wouldn;t take it personally.
+
 

09/16/04 online jarvis | Illinois USA
deepest appologies, sir. i thought you ordered the black anus. i'll have our cooks prepare your angus immediately.
+
 

09/16/04 broking | Texas USA
dont worry logan. that wasnt racist

+
 

09/16/04 online frnortnr | British Columbia Canada
Bedtime boys!
Oh mom!

Now hey there people, won't you lend an ear?
'cause I've a story to tell and I'm telling it here
I was born in a town in the great UK
From a baby to a boy to a man today
And I'm a musical man, and I'm a man of verse
But I've got a little problem and it's getting worse

Well my life was so well planned
Survivin' and a-jivin' in a f-f-funk band
'cause rappin', it's my, bread and butter
But it's hard to rap when you're born with a st-st-st, st, st-st, st, st-t, st-t, stutter!

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen
We've all been caught in a m-m-mouth trap
So join with us and do the st-st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter rap

Well it was '82 when I joined the boys
And I was hip, and I was cool, but now I've lost my poise
The kids, our fans, are starting to doubt
When you open your mouth and nothing comes out

And it breaks my heart that we're not on the chart
'cause the record's nearly over when the vocals start
And I'm down and out, and I'm down on my luck
And I'm livin' on my own and I'm dying for a fr-riend to say "You're great!"
But I'm under the hammer
'cause all I seem to do is s-s-s-st-

Come on man!

s-s-s-st-stammer!

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen
We've all been caught in a m-m-mouth trap
So join with us and do the st-st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter rap

Neighbours

Well interviewers turn away
Who wants to be covered with spray?
Talkin' to me for more than an hour
Is equivalent to an April shower
It's tough! Tough! Tougher than tough!
It's worse than Benny Hill and that's bad enough!
Something must be wrong with your vocal technique
When the twelve inch mix goes on for a week

I was rappin' in my club the other night
When nothin' I said was comin' out right
The crowd got angry, and this one man
He was gonna throw a bottle
He was gonna chuck a can, chuck a can, chuck it, chuck it, chuck it, chuck it

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen
We've all been caught in a m-m-mouth trap
So join with us and do the st-st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter rap

N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-NO, NEED, FOR SHOUTING!

W-w-w-w-why's that then?

Well, you'll wake Mr Whittaker at number thirty-two

Besides, it's not very good for the voice
(an amplifier or similar shorts out)

Uuhhh!

That's a bit harsh isn't it?

NO, SLEEP, 'TIL BEDTIME!

Talking of which it's ten-thirty already!

Is it? Ooooh!

What time do they stay up 'til in America? (I mean)

Oh, very late. Sometimes quarter to eleven! (Ahhhh)

Well actually I've heard in New York they sometimes even stay up 'til midnight

No! No wonder they do all that shouting. (I mean)

Yes, they must be very snappy and irritable

That's right. (Ahhhh)

Do you know, I heard a story that those Toastie Boys stayed up 'til quarter past twelve!

Really? Well that's just silly!

They're just gonna get burnt out

Burnt out!

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen
We've all been caught in a m-m-mouth trap
So join with us and do the st-st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter rap

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen
We've all been caught in a m-m-mouth trap
So join with us and do the st-st-st-st-st-st-st-stutter rap

Well no-one's ever seen what I mean
From the age of n-n-n-n-n-n-thirteen...
+
 

09/16/04 bsm772s | New York USA
You know, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
So to you other kids all across the land
There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand

I remember one year, my mom took me school shoppin'
It was me, my brother, my mom, oh my pop,
And my little sister all hopped in the car
We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall

My mom started buggin' with the clothes she chose
I didn't say nothin' at first, I just turned up my nose
She said, "What's wrong, the shirt costs twenty dollars."
I said, "Mom, This shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar.

The next half hour was the same old thing
My mother buyin' me clothes from 1963
And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
I asked her for Adidas, and she bought me Zips!

I said, "Mom, what are you doin'? You'll ruin my rep."
She said, "You're only 16, you don't have a rep yet."
I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please."
She said, "No. You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show."

I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, c'mon mom, I'm not Bowser.
Mom, please put back the bell bottom Brady Bunch trousers.
But if you don't want to I can live with that, but,
You've gotta put back the double-knit, reversable slacks"

She wasn't with it, everything stayed the same
Inevitably, the first day of school came
I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
But my mom said, "No, no way, Uh-uh. Forget it."

There was nothin' I could do. I tried to relax
I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
And when I walked in to school, it was just as I thought
The kids were crackin' up, laughin' at the clothes mom bought

And those who weren't laughin' still had a ball
'Cuz they were pointing and whispering as I walked down the hall
I got home and told my mom how my day went
She said, "If they were laughin' you don't need 'em, cuz they're not good
friends."

For the next six hours I tried to explain to my mom
That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
So to you other kids all across the land
There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand

Ok. Here's the situation. My parents went away on a week's vacation
And, they left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Would they mind? Mmm, well, of course not!
I'll just take it for a little spin, and maybe show it off to a couple of
friends
I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood
Well, maybe I shouldn't. Yeah! Of course I should!

Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
And that's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walkin'
I picked up my car phone to perpatrate like I was talkin'

You shoulda seen this girls bodily demensions
I honked my horn, just to get her attention
She said, "Was that for me?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "Why?"
I said, "Come on and take a ride with a hell of a guy."

She said, "How do I know you're not sick?
You could be some deranged lunatic."
I said, "Come on, toots. My name is the Prince.
Besides, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"

She agreed, and we were on our way
She was lookin' very good, so I was I, I must say, WORD!
We hit McDonalds, pulled up to the driveway
We ordered two Big Macs, and two large fries and Cokes

She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on."
She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast

The sunroof was open, the music was high
And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car

We're doin' ninety in my mom's new Porsche
And to make this long story short, short
When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell
I said, "I don't have a license, but I drive very well, officer!"

I almost had a heart attack that day
Come to find out the girl was a 12-year-old runaway!
I was arrested, the car was impounded
There was no way for me to avoid being grounded

My parents had to come home from vacation and get me
I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
My parents walked in and I got my grip
I said, "Uh...mom, dad...How was your trip?!"

They didn't speak, I said, "I wanna plead my case."
But my father just shoved me in the car by my face
That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived it
They took turns, one would beat me while the other was drivin'!

I can't believe it! I just made a mistake
Well, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
So to you other kids all across the land
Take it from me, parents just don't understand
+
 

1 | 2

help your comment
your ip address will be logged with your post